Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Guns for Goblins

 In my last 2 post, I covered historical firearms and the "reasoning" behinds the stats - I put some efforts in how to cover a game that might stretch over several time periods.   But all the guns were ... ordinary.  The kind of guns sane people use.  Now, let's look at ... not so sane ... guns.

(There is a GLOGtober challenge   I... don't have time for this, I'm supposed to work on the Fromagerie.  But the first one is Gun Related so... here we go!)

Too Many Barrels, aka Perdition to Conspirators

A double barreled gun is easy:  Double the cost, done, don't worry about it?  But what about 14 barrels?  Certainly 14 times the cost ...

Rifle flintlock, small caliber, 2 clusters of 7 barrels.

2 shots of a 5 foot wide beam 80 feet long of lead death, each victim being hit by 1d3 bullets doing 1d6 dmg each (until all bullets have hits or there are no one in the path.  If used against very large target (say, giant), 6d6 dmg within 30 feet, 1d4+1 d6 dmg 35-80 feet.  Takes 20 times the normal time to load the whole thing.  On a fumble:  50% chance of simple need to re-prime the gun (1 round).  25% chance of serious malfunction needed total unloading/reloading (1 hour's work at least), 25% chance of barrel burst, doing 1d12 dmg to user.  5 slots encumbrance

Minigun, 1700 style

So instead of having smaller barrels and many of them, you have 7 large ones.  And what if your hatred far outweighed your self-preservation, and you *intentionally* loaded each barrels THIRTY TWO TIMES?  A gun that will fire for 2 minutes strait and CANNOT STOP?  I've got you covered

Smoothbore flintlock, full size, multi-load 7 barrels

Fires a continuous stream of bullets (roughly 9 per round) for 12 rounds.  Takes 1 hour to load and specially made bullets).  Single target:  1d6-1 hits of 2d6 dmg each.  "sweep" 50 feet wide, each person on the "line" takes 1d4-2 bullets, doing 2d6 dmg each.  Range 100 feet.  Once fired, *cannot stop shooting*.  On a fumble:  50% chance of simple need to re-prime the gun (1 round).  25% chance of serious malfunction needed total unloading/reloading (3 hour's work at least, new bullets, new powder etc), 25% chance of barrel burst, doing 2d10 dmg to everyone within 10 feet.  12 slots encumbrance.  must be braced on something or shoot with disadvantage.  If fired without a proper mount (going "Rambo style"), strength check each round or loose control of the gun.

Duckfoot gun

Ok let's get a little less insane here.  A pistol with multiple barrels arranged in a fan.

Smoothbore flintlock pistol, multi barreled

Fires bullets in a "fan" 20 foot long and 15 foot wide.  Does 1d8 dmg within the fan.  1d4+3 barrels. Loading time 2 rounds, On a fumble, the gun fails to ignite.  There is a 50% chance that it can easily be fixed (one round reloading the priming powder) and 50% chance that there is a serious problem - the gun needs to be unloaded because of wet powder and reloaded (doubles the reloading time).  1 slot encumbrance

Jörg Weingrill from Potsdam, Germany

Hand Mortar

Ok, time to bring the crazy back.   A flintlock hand grenade launcher, what could go wrong?

Range 40 feet, -1 by 10 feet, max 100 feet.  On a miss, apply scatter rules of  your liking.  Grenade does 1d20-5 dmg (roll for each target) in 15 feet radius, save dex for half.  Reload 3 rounds.  On a fumble, there is a 50% chance the gun fails to ignite and 50% chance that the grenade falls at your feet...  2 slots encumbrance

Steampunk Volcanic Riffle 

And lastly, excessive style.  A very primitive metallic cartridge gun, the ancestor of the Henry rifle.

1d6 dmg, 12 cartridges - can attack multiple times per round if character is able to, range 30 feet, -1 per 20 feet, +40 base range with the scope, loading time 1 cartridges per round + 1 round for magazine manipulation.  On a fumble, failure to fire,1d6 rounds to resolve issue. 2 slots. (in pistol form, 1 slot)

There are a lot more crazy guns out there!  Thank you to Forgotten Weapons for years of historical info.

Friday, September 25, 2020

Foreboding Fromagerie: Rooms 4 - 8

These room are north west of the Great Cheese Hall

(note: this dungeon is under construction - links to monsters and other rooms are missing.  The rest will be published over the course of several weeks)

back to main map      back to index

Map segment by Dyson Logos, with some edits

Room 4: Pasteurization Room

By Phlox

This large hexagonal room is warm and somewhat humid. Faint snoring can be heard.

Two small firepits with half-full cauldrons of milk stand in the room. Sleeping on a cot propped up on several milk crates is an old woman named Noya (1 HD). She is responsible for pasteurizing milk that is not intended for making into cheese, and knows only rumors about the rest of the Fromagerie - she finds the dungeon rather bewildering.. She is perhaps the Wizard's oldest friend.

The goblins have been firmly warned not to harm her.  So ... they talk to her.  And even though she is a simple woman who grew up on a dairy farm - her knowledge of simple things like animal husbandry is wondrous to the goblins. Any random encounters in this room has a flat 50% chance of being goblins.

Should the PCs seriously hurt or kill Noya, the goblins will unite and do their best to kill the PCs (and will not fight fair). This will also greatly anger the Wizard.

There is no treasure in this room besides Noya's simple belongings.

Leading out of this room is an unlocked metal bar door to the south (Room 3), as well as opening to the north of the room, heading east to room 5

Room 5: The Chapel

By purplechtulu

Overview: A small hexagonal room. The walls are covered with cheap plaster facades

painted grey and styled to resemble gothic arches and buttresses. An old, ratty Persian

carpet sits in the center of the room. Near the southeast wall is a cracked plaster altar

with a green cloth on top. Near the northeast wall is a statue of a bishop made out of

cheese, with most of its head missing. The whole room is filled with a nauseating smell

resembling cigar smoke and rotting fruit.

Altar: A plaster altar with large cracks on the side. Lying on top is a green cloth with the

phrase “Make the holy man’s chest shatter/to unlock the key to the platter”. The altar is

hollow; hidden inside is the Cados Censer, an enchanted incense censer. If cheese is placed

inside the censer, then the censer starts to produce a nauseatingly strong stinky cheese smell,

while the cheese slowly crumbles into ash.

Bishop Statue: The source of the horrible smell, this statue is carved out of Stinking Bishop

cheese. Soft Cheese goblins occasionally take small chunks from it to annoy the Hard Cheese

goblins with, throwing it at their territory. The Green Keese is inside the statue’s chest. While

not difficult to get out, the real challenge lies in the smell. Besides being intense and unpleasant,

the smell lingers on whoever touches the cheese, making stealth near-impossible and attracting

wandering creatures unless washed off.

The room can be exited via stairs leading up to the north (leading to a corridor and eventually to room 9), to the southwest to room 4 or to the north west to room 6.

Room 6: The Vault

By SirOnyx

This hexagonal room is roughly 50' across and is secured by heavy iron doors. These iron doors are locked by a lock with an unusual opening - a white bordered slit - that sit on the outside frame of the door, they will open when the matching Keese (white) is placed within it. They cannot be opened from the inside.

    This room contains a wide variety of rare and strange cheese that The Wizard wanted to hold onto. The walls are lined with stone pedestals holding crystal cloches, locked down with more colored slits, with the wondrous cheeses below them. Each cloche is extremely tough, and labeled with a small note, scribbled in faint handwriting, that lists the name of the cheese (bold text in the description)

The Western Wall

- The first cloche is locked by purple slits and contains 1d8 bites of Fire Cheddar. Taking a bite out of this block of cheddar causes 1d4 fire damage, but allows the eater to breathe a 15' cone of fire once within the next 8 hours. The cone of fire deals 4d8 damage.

- The second cloche is locked by blue slits and contains a Platter of Many Cheeses. The platter contains 1d12 bite-sized cubes of various magical cheeses, Roll 1d6+1d8 below for each bite.

1. The Universe implodes in Deliciousness. All is Cheese. 2. Tastes like Plastic. Turn into a lifeless statue of inedible yellow cheese that no one likes. 3. Holey. Gain tons of strange holes all over your body. any mundane attack that hits you has a 1 in 6 chance of passing through you, causing no harm. 4. Smelly and Delicious. You now strongly smell of delicious cheese, all creatures within 30' automatically detect you and you have a higher likelihood of drawing creatures in random encounter rolls. 5. Soft and Spreadable. Your body becomes smooth and squishy, gain the ability to squeeze through spaces as small as 1". Shrink down to the space of a 2'x2' box if fully liquid. 6. Nutty. Gain an Insanity 7. Spicy. You gain the ability to cough a small bolt of fire once per day, dealing 3d4 damage on hit. Your nose constantly smokes. 8. Sour. Your lips begin to pucker up so quickly and painfully that it threatens to destroy your very existence. Make a con save or pucker yourself into another dimension. 9. Sweet. Gain a level. 10. Smokey. Every time you perform any particularly exhausting activity, roll a con save or spend the next 1d4 minutes coughing up smoke. 11. Maggoty. A small swarm of flies will burst out of your skin in 1d4 days. You can control them as Mage Hand.  12. Winey. You are now permanently intoxicated. 13. Rich. 1d20 days after eating this cheese, you will defecate a diamond worth 500 GP. 14. Complex. Roll Twice, and take both effects. Ignore this roll if it comes up again.

- The third and final cloche along the left wall is locked by green slits and contains a small sack of 1d20 Treasure Cheese, they appear as coins made of various cheese. After eating one, it turns into 1d100 gold coins in your gut. Roll a con save to puke them up. If it generates more than 50 coins, take 1 damage for every two coins.

The Eastern Wall

- The first cloche is locked by yellow slits and contains 1d4 Maxirella Balls. Appearing as small balls of white soft cheese. If a liquid such as a potion or poison is poured onto one of these balls, it will maximize the effects when the cheese ball is eaten. If a ball is eaten raw, it will extend any temporary magical effect that is currently affecting the eater by a day.

- The second cloche contains 1d8 small white rats and is locked by orange slits. The wizard keeps them here because he finds them amusing. They keep themselves fed with a small piece of cheese in the back of their cloche. This cheese magically regenerates every night at midnight, assuming it is not entirely eaten. The rats are trained not to finish it off.

- The third and final cloche is locked by red slits contains 1d4 B-Side Brie Balls. Appearing as small balls of black soft cheese. If a liquid such as a potion or poison is poured onto one of these balls, it will invert or otherwise corrupt the original effect when the ball is eaten. If a ball is eaten raw, it will irreversibly corrupt some aspect of the eater.

The Northern Wall

- The Back Wall contains only one cloche containing a single cheese: The Mother Cheese. The Mother Cheese squirms and pulses underneath its cloche, locked by black slits. This Keese Card is held by the wizard and if unlocked, the Mother Cheese will pounce on the nearest adventurer. 

If an adventurer touches The Mother Cheese, they will irreversibly turn into cheese and absorb The Mother Cheese, it will not naturally be seen for centuries longer. This effect repeats on anyone who attempts to eat the poor Cheese-Touched adventurer. Their skin will bubble into a patchwork of every cheese they have ever eaten and the transformation will be complete. If the adventurer rolls a successful magic save, they will retain their mobility, sentience, and all other aspects of living (minus being made out of cheese) and gain a level of The Cheesen One class, detailed below.

The Cheesen One

Deepen: Gain 10 XP for every unique cheese eaten. Cure: Incurable. Eat yourself to death. A: Cheese-Touched, Cheese-Munity B: Cheese-Mutation C: Cheese-Bringer

Cheese-Touched: You have been turned into the Cheese-Champion of the Cheese-Goddess. Everything (non-cheese) you touch is cursed to turn into a random type of cheese you have eaten. If an object is sufficiently large enough not to be completely turned, then it extends out to 1'. You can no longer eat anything but cheese, wear functional armor (that isn't made out of cheese), use any items or weapons (that are not cheese), or ever touch anything that is not immediately cheesed. If you touch someone, they take 1d4+Level damage as part of them turns to cheese.

Cheese-Munity: You are immune to Cheese-Harm, whether magic, poisonous, or mundane. Cheese-Boons still apply.

Cheese-Mutation: You now have control over what kind of cheeses you turn things into, it is still limited to cheeses you have previously eaten. This means, among other things, that you can use items, armor, and weapons, assuming you have eaten a cheese that can mimic their intended properties (hardness, flexibility, etc.)

Cheese-Bringer: You can spread your Cheese-Mutation effect at a rate of 1' per second, you no longer need to touch something to transmute it, your damage when touching someone becomes a save or die effect. No one can stop you now.

(note from editor:  of course a glooger would find a way to sneak in a new GLOG-class...)

There are no other exit to this room, except an ancient vent, about 2 by 2 feet, covered by a very rusty grate, located on the south-west wall. This vent connects to a series of crawl spaces (see Room 3). A corridor south of the vault runs east to west.

Room 7: The Golem Workshop

By SirOnyx

    This room is blocked off from the rest of the dungeon by a pair of heavy iron doors (for all entrances), fading red paint sits above the doors themselves, displaying "Golem Workshop". These doors are not locked however, they do require the strength of three people to open by hand. There is an indent in one of these doors (once for each pair) that allows for the insertion of a golem power core, if this is done then the door opens itself until the core is removed.
    Inside this room, there are many strange machines. The western wall displays three punching stations prominently, the eastern wall contains a large molding machine with various molds scattered on the ground. The northeastern corner contains a very large pile of moon cheese and many buckets of paint. A large safe rests in the southwestern corner.

The Western Wall

    Starting from the southern edge and working up, there are two small boxes, one of metal and one of paper. There are then three punching machines, each labeled respectively; Function, Target, and Location
  • The Metal Box opens to a large cheese slicer, impossibly sharp. Sharp enough to slice a block of moon cheese into the proper thickness for a Keese Card
  • The Paper Box contains 1d6 presliced, unpainted, and unpunched.
  • The first punch station labeled "Function" has three possible punches to select from, each one labeled with a pictogram.
    • One punch is labeled with a Sword will cause the golem to aggressively attack whoever the "Target" is
    • One punch is labeled with a Shield will cause the golem to passively protect whoever the "Target" is
    • The Final Punch for this machine is labeled with a wrench, this punch is used to tell the golem to use utility functions. The wizard normally uses magic to code in the specific utility function, and thus the actual command given will be whatever he used last (roll on the table at the bottom of the room)
  • The second punch station, simply labeled "Target" has a single punch with a large funnel on the top of the machine. If someone drops in matter, it will code in their sequence as the target. The punch station is only limited to genetically sequencing human DNA, so any other genetic material dropped in is only tracked by species rather than the person, it can sequence all nonliving matter. If this punch is not used, then the card treats the target as "All"
  • The third and final punch station labeled "Location" has a single punch with a keypad attached to the machine, entering a number or series of numbers will restrict the golem to those rooms, if this machine is not used on a keese card, then the golem defaults to following its "Creator". Note that characters wouldn't know the room numbers in character unless they stole the map from the wizard first. 

The Eastern Wall

    The entirety of this wall is taken up by a large machine composed of a cheese melter and a cheese molder. The Cheese Melter appears to be a gigantic furnace, hooked up to a funnel, directly above the molding station. Turning it on simply requires a flip of the large lever on the wall to the left of the machine.
    The Cheese Molder is used to create the golems out of the remaining Moon Cheese supply that the wizard brought back with him. there are a variety of large molds strewn about the room, each one can be put into the machine with ten minutes' effort. It requires a legs, arms, torso, and a head mold, if a golem is made with less or more than this hooked up then the golem will fail to turn on when the appropriate core and keese card is placed inside its head. A list of the possible molds laying around is found below, DM picks one of each limb, and rolls 1d12 four times for the remainder of what's scattered on the ground
    The molded body for a golem will feature a slot in its chest for the keese card and an indent in its neck for the power core. Powering it will close the card slot, if it is on without a card then it simply stands still with no order.

The Northeastern Corner

    This corner contains a pile of Moon Cheese Boulders, enough for 1d4 Full Golems. Underneath the large stack of moon cheese is 1d6 Golem Power Cores, only 1d2 of which are properly charged.
    Also over here are buckets of paint, including; white, black, red, blue, yellow, orange, green, purple, and brown. these were used for the various keesecards and golems around the dungeon.

The Southwestern Corner

    This corner contains a large locked safe. Using sheer strength alone it would take around 1d6 days to pummel this open without any special equipment. Magically it would take a 4 [dice] knock spell or a fireball spell to open it. Contained within is a single, highly magical, keese card and 1d6 Golem Power Cores, all of which are properly charged.
    This particular keese card is not meant for a door, but a golem mind. It contains a corrupted soul that the wizard caught for an experiment in making golems more intelligent and sentient. This soul has long since forgotten his old life, his very essence is focused on destroying the wizard now. He does not remember his old name, and both he and the wizard call him the "ArchnemeSwiss". He is of average human intelligence but does not care about anything except his revenge. He may ally with the players or attack the players depending on their relationship with the wizard. He can communicate telepathically, even when just in his card form, and will attempt to get the characters to put him into a golem body so that he may do even more.

A Note on Keese Cards and Power Cores

    All Power Cores that are properly charged can not only keep golems running for a long time, but they can be depleted in one burst of magical energy in order to provide an additional {Dice} to a spell. For every Power Core used, add an additional "Instability" die to the spell as well, this die functions for the purposes of Dooms and Mishaps, but not the power of the spell. This is in order to represent the inherent instability of the magic inside these cores.
    All Keese Cards, including the ones that unlock doors, function as golem control cards. This means that the door keese cards can theoretically be counterfeited if the players gain access to this room and the knowledge of what settings created what cards. See below for the true settings for the Door Cards. (Assuming the players attempt to counterfeit them or use the originals in a golem.)
    Repunching a keese card irreversibly corrupts it.
  • White - Sword, All, Creator
  • Black - Utility (Haul), Wizard, Room #6
  • Red - Utility (Any), All, Room #3
  • Blue - Shield, Goblin, Room #18
  • Yellow - Utility (Any), All, Room #10
  • Orange - Sword, Rat. Creator
  • Purple - Sword, Dragon, Creator
  • Green - Shield, Gold, Creator

What was the Wizard's last Utility Program? (1d6)

  1. Haul, the golem will pick up the target and move them randomly about the dungeon.
  2. Clean, the golem will relentlessly clean the target
  3. Companionship, the golem will immediately return to the dining room (room #10) and begin pretending to eat (read as shoving cheese into its face and making a mess)
  4. Corrupted Program: golem gains mock sentience as a wild beast, cannot speak, will immediately try to escape the dungeon.
  5. Dig, the golem will dig out new dungeon space wherever the target commands it to
  6. Worker Bot, the golem will be of a random job position listed in room #2 and #17

What Golem Molds are laying around? (1d12)

  1. Caterpillar Tracks (Legs), golem moves at half speed but can ignore difficult terrain
  2. Fins (Legs), the golem cannot move on land but can move at full speed in liquids
  3. Spider (Legs), the golem can walk on walls and other vertical surfaces at half speed, twice as creepy looking.
  4. Normal (Legs)
  5. Drill (Arms), the golem can no longer pick stuff up but has a drill attack that does 1d10 damage
  6. Cannon (Arms), the golem can no longer pick stuff up but can fire a cheese wheel cannon (determine randomly from room #18), must be reloaded manually as the golem cannot do so.
  7. CheeseWeb (Arms) can fire a cheese web of melted moon cheese to restrain foes or grab items from afar, causes everything it touches to get super sticky and gross.
  8. Shield (Arms), the golem can use its action to protect nearby creatures, redirecting any attack at them to itself.
  9. Normal (Arms)
  10. Hollow (Chest), has a hollow space to be filled up with various things such as loot or explosive cheese wheels, has -1 HD.
  11. Normal (Chest)
  12. Normal (Head)

Leaving this rooms are door to the north and south.

Room number: 8 The Boringkaas

By mtb-za

Details: A large drilling machine is against the south-western wall, built to expand the dungeon. Old and rusted, needs combustible material and some oiling, but then could be started and used to drill a 5ft gap through walls. Loud and belches fumes. Takes at least three PCs to move, or a pair of subverted cheesemaker golems. Stairs will be difficult terrain for the wheeled machine.  The movement of the machine is not automated (the wheels are not powered), only the drilling is.

Not very noisy when rolled around, but super noisy when used. (random encounter triggered). If used recklessly, will anger the Wizard.

Leading out of the room is a corridor heading north to Room 7, and corridor heading east to Room 3

Foreboding Fromagerie: Rooms 1-3

(note: this dungeon is under construction - links to monsters and other rooms are missing.  The rest will be published over the course of several weeks)

The main entrance and the great hall

Dungeon history link
Dungeon Main Page
Main Map Page

Map segment by Dyson Logos, with some edits
(note 1 square = 10 feet)


The adventurers have traveled days, following a crude map sold to them by a bard for a few silvers and an interesting tale.  A hidden trapdoor in an abandoned hut in the forest led to a fantastical facility, where a mad wizard used to live.  No one has heard of the wizard in decades, and there is surely valuable treasure there.  Lean on coin, the adventurers follow the lead...

... the bard told the truth!  There was a large, hidden trap-door in the hut.  The stairs leading down from it are old and dusty, although there seems to have been some traffic here recently... you may not be alone in here.

Room 1:  The Entrance

By Ancalagon

The stairs lead down at least 50 feet - and a pungent cheesy odor increases with every step.  The stairs open into a rooms roughly 30 by 30 feet - the room is somewhat illuminated from the north side, where a balcony overlooks a great, noisy hall lit with lanterns.   This hall is the source of the cheesy odor and is a site of a great deal of activity.  Large vats of liquids, pipes, metal grates and other devices are being tended by a group of mechanical beings, each being built to fulfill specific tasks - they do not seem to notice the party, being too focused on their work. The balcony is about 20 feet above the floor of the hall below.

To the east and west of the room, stairs lead down further from the room.

1a:  at the corner of the stairs/hall to the east is a small privy.  It is lit by a small lantern affixed to the wall.

Room 2:  The Production Floor (the Great Hall)

By Oblidisideryptch

This great hall is filled with an overpowering smell of salt and cheese. Pipes coming from the east (room 17) lead to two coagulation pools. The pipes then go from these pools and terminate into three draining grates. Cheesecloth golems remove bags of cheese from the grates and move them to production rooms. An orange maintenance golem makes a circuit around this room and room 17 every 10 minutes (50% chance of being in one or the other). 

The pipes snaking across the floor come from room 17 east to the coagulation pools, then from the pool to the three draining grates

The various golems operating this room are not hostile to the PCs as long as they do not interfere with cheese production.  All golems' power cores are exposed on the back of their necks. If any golem’s power core is removed, it can be used to power spells or other golems. The orange maintenance golem will track down any core thief in Room 2 or 17 within 1d3 minutes.

The coagulation pools are a 50’ x 20’ rectangle bisected north-south set against the southern wall, directly below the balcony of Room 1. They are host to the largest bacterial minds in the dungeon, whispering in susurrus underneath the rumbling of golems. If you listen, they will offer an exchange - biological material for information. Each one regards the other as its mortal enemy. They snipe at each other constantly.
The White Keese is at the bottom of the western pool and the Yellow Keese is at the bottom of the eastern pool. Each bacteria will not give its Keese up unless fed a living creature. Pipes run northeast from the pools to the three draining grates.
Falling in either of these pools infects a creature with the colony and deals 1d6 damage per round as the bacteria start to consume you.  A cure disease, wish spell or quick and thorough washing are the only cures.

Bacterial Secrets (1d4)
1- The basic contents of a random dungeon room, but not its location
2- A secret held by a sentient creature
3- Exact location of an item but no directions
4- One truth about a dungeon denizen and one lie

The three draining grates are each 10’ and 20’ long. Each one is attended by a cheesecloth golem, and the area underneath is scoured by cleaning slimes.
The cheesecloth golems are all purple. Each one has a massive roll of magical cheesecloth on its back that unrolls constantly, snipped into bag-size chunks by a secondary pair of scissor arms. The golems bag the cheese and carry it off to production rooms, while the slimes keep the floor clean of cheese drippings.

The cleaning slimes are individually cat-sized, transparent blobs trained to break down liquid and solid messes. They will swarm filthy areas, objects, and people. Each one has a small orb in its center. Grabbing this orb will let you give one-word commands to the slime, but will cause 2d10 slimes to swarm you. They can only be killed by diluting them in gallons of pure water.

The magical cheesecloth can be used to safely transport magical solids without risk of infection, exposure, or colonization. The cheesecloth golems will snip at anyone attempting to steal some.

The production rooms are 6 multipurpose facilities in the eastern wing of Room 2 designed to accommodate the wizard’s whims. Each one is a 10’ x 10’ square. They are patrolled by a red golem, and occasionally staffed by cheese goblins when their interests align with the wizard’s.

What is this production room being used for? (1d10)

1 - Huge mess! 2d10 cleaning slimes versus one cheese ooze with a random Cheese Culture property (see room 17). 2 cheese goblins are cowering in a corner. If rescued, you will earn a clan’s gratitude.
2  - One golem is flipping wheels of Diamond Reggiano, the only cheese with a corundum crust. This cheese’s flavor and potency is legendary. If only there was a way to cut it...
3 - Storage for decommissioned golems. 1d4 golems in varying states of repair, all lacking power cores. Some tools and golem control keese on a table.
4 - Four goblins industriously chipping several pieces of cheese out of amber to cultivate forgotten bacterial cultures.
5, 6 or 7 - Storage for a cheese with a random Cheese Culture, nearly matured. Mature Cultured Cheeses grant a beneficial effect when consumed.
8 - Dumping tub for failed cheeses. Toxins lethal to cheese creatures can be obtained here.
9 - Room with several standard diving dresses (old scuba suits) designed to wade into milk vats. Each one connects to a hand-cranked air pump.
10 - Two goblins carefully culturing a new bacterial mix, Nuclear Halloumi. If disturbed, the culture may achieve criticality.

To the north and south, balconies 20 feet above overlook the room.  A pair of wide stairs lead down to the west, leading to room 3.  A door to the south lead to stairs leading to room 1.  Two corridors least east to room 17, and two more lead north to room 11 and beyond.

Room 3:  The Creamery Cascade

By DIY and Dragons

This room is dominated by a three-tiered tea-set fountain and a river of milk that divides the room in half, running west to east. Dozens of wooden crates are pushed against the northern and southern walls. This is a high-traffic area, certain to result in a random encounter.

The tea-set fountain dominates the western side of the room. Accessing the hall behind it requires carefully squeezing around it. The fountain is made of three tiers of enormous tea cups sitting in saucers, topped by a tilting milk jug that pours outward and to the east. The bottom tier is 10’ wide, and the fountain stands over 6’ tall.

The entire fountain is filled with milk that bubbles up the tiers and spills out the top, pouring down into a deep channel in the floor, forming the river of milk. The cups and saucers are bone white, decorated with blue floral motifs, the milk is a pale creamy yellow by comparison.

The bottom tier of the fountain is filled with skimmed-milk, the middle tier with half-and-half, and the top tier with heavy-cream. (These look identical but taste different!) The contents of the fountain combine to form whole-milk in the river. The milk here is room temperature and frothed from the fountain’s aeration.

The river of milk runs west to east, flowing 40’ across the room in a 10’ wide channel before disappearing into an opening set into the bottom of the east wall. The river runs rapidly and will quickly carry away anything dropped into it.

Dungeon natives typically collect whole-milk from the river to avoid touching the fountain. Stepping into the river or dropping anything into it will provoke an immediate hostile response.

The wooden crates are mostly empty but hold a handful of larger metal milk cans (1d6 on each side) and smaller glass milk bottles (1d12 on each side). The dungeon natives use these to collect their milk, and eventually return them sparkling clean.

Representatives of every faction in the Fromagerie come here to collect milk for their projects. This room is never empty for more than a turn before another random encounter arrives. Flip a coin to determine their location, heads are north, tails are south. Dungeon natives won’t cross the river or squeeze behind the fountain.

Dungeon natives observe a kind of truce in this room, and will make conversation while they collect their milk. Depending on their mood, they might chat about their own project, or be suspicious of the player characters’ motives or intentions. Regardless of their disposition, they will avoid combat unless the characters endanger the purity of the milk, and will seek to capture them if they do, as this is perceived as a crime that requires deliberative justice.

On a wall, a crude diagram is painted:  

This diagram is a clue/map to a series of crawlspace - they are hidden behind a panel underneath the diagram.  They lead to room 6 (upper left),  room 15 (all the way right, ie east) and 16 (going north then right, ie upper right).  These corridors house pipes that connect rooms 3, 15 and 16 together and are quite cramped.  The tight quarters do not bother the goblins of course.  The short passage to room 16 is narrower still and does not have any pipes.  

Connections to other rooms: Pipes run into this room from room 4 to the north, feeding the fountain, as well as a metal bar door (unlocked). The milk originates in room 16; sabotage there will dry up the fountain and the river. The river of milk feeds more pipes that run beneath room 2 and eventually carry the milk (and anything that falls into it) to room 15 for storage.  Double stairs lead to room 2 to the west.  Another set of stairs lead to room 22 to the south. Squeezing behind the fountain can lead to room 8.

Foreboding Fromagerie Master Post

(This is the main post, if you are going to link to the Foreboding Fromagerie, please link here!)

The Foreboding Fromagerie 

This is a collective project by the OSR discord collective.  I had the idea of having a collective dungeon where each person would do a room or two.  A theme and a name were soon proposed, and here we are!  

This is not playtested material - yet.  Many of the creators will be running the dungeon and this will be, in time, *very* well playtested.  Adjustments will be made.  This is also a dungeon in construction - I am not done.  Depending on the moment you see this post, it may or may not be in a playable state (at the moment, with the monsters missing, it is not).

Dungeon Index:
(More to follow)

Future things to add:  
Future PDF, maybe DrivethruRPG etc
Intro, hooks and history
Running the Fromagerie: Dungeon Procedure & graffiti.
Fun stuff about cheese
Bestiary, Random encounters and factions
The Wizard
Reviews and playthroughs
Guide to Collective Dungeon Building

(note this section is incomplete)

Original Idea, Dungeon Director, Editor, web publisher, official contact, archivist, person to blame:  Ancalagon (i.e. me)

I had the idea for a collective dungeon, I set the general direction (although not the theme), stitched rooms together, made adjustments etc.  The great majority of the creativity and wondrous ideas came from the numerous participants in this collective dungeon project.   So while I "made it happen", it would have been impossible without them.  Small changes were sometimes needed - I apologize to the authors, and I hope they understand.  If any room has deficiencies... it's my fault :)

I also did rooms 1, 25, 36 and 37, the Wizard's design and some entries on the Graffiti table.  I also stated several monsters and foes, and managed faction relations.

Dyson Logos kindly provided the map

Oblidisideryptch: rooms 2 and 17, Cheese theme idea
Vayra :  Name of the dungeon.  Rooms 13, 24, 45 and 46
Thriftomancer OSR server assistance
Sir Onyx:  rooms 6, 7, 9,  26, and 38.  The moon idea.  Graffiti table
Purplecthulhu:   rooms  5, 16 and 49
Random Wizard:  rooms 14  (no blog of yet) 
Corgifan2 :  rooms 15, crawlspace layout
Anne:  rooms 3 and 18
Phlox : rooms 4 and 33 
Mtb-za:  rooms 8 and 34, assistance with map segments (no blog of yet)
Cameron Hawkey for room 10
Studio 315b for rooms 11, 32 and 39
deus ex parabola for room 12
Panic Pillow  room 23 and the corridors above room 12 (no blog of  yet) 
(more to come!)
(please let me know if I made an error in the credits!)

Thank you so much to everyone who contributed.  We all hope that you have fun in the Foreboding Fromagerie!

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

GLOG guns math

 I realized I never really explained my logic for my gun damage in my previous post, so here it is.

The basic is, well pretty obvious.  Damage and range both increase with the size of the gun

small pistol 1d6, large pistol 1d8, carbine/arquebus 1d10, musket/full rifle 2d6.  Several others have published better versions of this.  (edit:  and they have 2 points of armor piercing)

That's enough details, we're done.  BUT what if we want a system/setting with more than 1 gun technologies going at once?  There definitely were several periods in history where multiple "levels" of weapon technologies were used at once. That's complicated to achieve.  Modern weapons are usually better in some way - how do we keep older weapons relevant?

So here are some of the ways you can "spread the balance" a bit.

For the matchlock to flintlock era, the way to balance those two is that the early flintlocks (the wheellocks) are quite expensive (usually nobles used them), and are almost never made for muskets.  So matchlocks are much more available, and the biggest one do more damage that the biggest wheellocks.  The PCs will probably try to get them.

A double shot (?) ornate wheellock pistol. MET museum, NYC

From flintlock to caplock.  In this era, a few things are happening.  First a caplock singleshot muzzleloader is not that much greater than a flintlock (effectively, it's more reliable).  So all you need to do to balance those types of guns are costs.  BUT there are also revolvers to consider.  Revolvers are more expensive yes, but *so* much better. Here some balance is achieved  by lower damage (1d6 vs 1d8), this bein because revolvers were of smaller caliber than the one shot pistols.  Also, the advent of paper cartridge has made single shot muzzleloaders a bit faster than before, thus allowing them to attempt to keep up.

From caplock to metallic cartridge, to maintain balance I had to do a few things - first I'm limiting them to earlier, rimfire cartridge (black-powder) to limit their power (after a while, modern guns are just so much better).  Also, the Minié ball increases the power of the cap and balls revolvers.  Older single shot guns are still in the game because they too get a damage boost - the best metallic cartridge gun does a d10 dmg, while the best single shot muzzleloader does 2d8... but if you step forward a few more decades in history, the muzzleloaders are left far behind, so it's why I am stopping here. 

Sunday, September 20, 2020

The Goblin Laws of Guns

 A lot of GLOG class are starting to use guns (like the Zouave or the Gun Priest).   I proposed the following "system" that will be both historically accurate "ish" and "balanced" for use in play.

The reason I'm doing this is because I'm going to play in a one-shot GLOG game and different players have guns of different tech level.  I am aiming to have something that is both sort of balanced, sort of easy *and* sort of fun.

I will have "elements" of a gun, and then combine them together to make a number of examples.  One thing I won't have is prices for these guns, as they would be heavily campaign and "historical" dependent - what was cutting edge in one century is old surplus in the next.

Design principles

- Guns are less reliable, but no "blow in  your face" unreliable.

- Guns are slow to reload, but advanced guns are better

- Guns do solid damage... but not *that* much damage, especially the pistols.

- Edit: - I need to make this more explicit - somewhat better vs armor

Because this is a long post, I'm going to start with the guns.   Then we'll talk about historical periods, and how guns were used.  Then we'll talk about the technical details.  The "gaming math" will follow in this post.

Pocket pistol (flintlock, smoothbore)

Usable in melee!  Very short range, better than nothing.  1d6 dmg, 10 feet, -2 per 10 feet beyond. 2 rounds to reload.

In your face Pistol (matchlock, flintlock, cap and ball, smoothbore or rifled)

The more of these you have stuffed in your sash, the more bad-ass you are.  1d8 dmg, 1d10 with Minié, base range is 20 feet, -1 per 10 feet, ( or -1 per 20 feet if rifled).  Loading time 2 rounds

Pistolet modèle 1733, By Rama, CC BY-SA 3.0 fr,

Pepperbox (cap and ball, smoothbore)

The precursor to the revolver, the gun was not noted for accuracy... but hey, six shot! 1d6 dmg, range 10 feet, -1 to hit per 10 feet beyond, can attack multiple times per round if character is able to, reload time: 2 rounds/chamber

Pocket revolver (rimfire, rifled)

Six shots of anemic 1d4 damage!  The rich have them in engraved nickel plated with ivory handles. 1d4 dmg, range 10 feet, -1 to hit per 10 feet beyond. can attack multiple times per round if character is able to. Reload: 2 cartridge per round

Revolver, cap and ball  (rifled)

A great six shooter, you can depend your life on. 1d6 damage with round ball, or 1d8 with Minié ball.  Range is 20 feet, -1 to hit per 20 feet beyond can attack multiple times per round if character is able to,.  Reload time 2 rounds/chamber

Revolver, rimfire (rifled)

Another great 6-shooter.  You can reload faster now, but have less max damage.  Still hurts!  1d6 damage with .44 Henry.  Range is 20 feet, -1 to hit per 20 feet beyond.  Can attack multiple times per round if character is able to. Reload time 1 round/ two bullets

.44 Henry Colt Army 1860

Zouave Snaphance. (flintlock, smoothbore, but could be cap and ball)

Not an issued weapon, a trophy of war, plunder, booty.  A tool to defend yourself against robbers - or to rob someone.  An oversized pistol, a sawed off blunderbuss.   2d6 dmg with ball, 20 foot range, -1 penalty per 10 feet OR 3d4 damage with shot, 20 foot range, -1 1d4 dmg per 10 feet. Loading time: 3 rounds

By Worldantiques - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0,

Arquebuse/mousqueton/carbine (matchlock, flintlock, cap and ball), smoothbore

A short handy smoothbore gun. Double barreled cap and boll shotgun were popular.  dmg 1d10,  Range 30 feet, -1 per 10 feet beyond OR 3d3 damage with shot, 20 foot range, -1 1d3 dmg per 10 feet. Loading time: 3 rounds and can fire in the 3rd round.

Musket (matchlock, flintlock, cap and ball), smooth bore

A cumbersome weapon of war.  Matchlock requires brace to fire (fork, wall, fence...).  dmg 2d6 range 40 feet, -10 per 10 feet beyond OR 4d3 damage with shot, 30 foot range, -1 1d3 dmg per 10 feet. Loading time: 3 rounds

Rifle (flintlock, cap and ball)

A potent weapon of war. dmg 2d6 or 2d8 with Minié ball, range 50 feet, -1 per 20 feet beyond. Loading time:  4 rounds, or one round less with Minié ball,

Rifle carbine (flintlock, cap and ball)

A handy weapon for travel or hunting.  1d10 dmg, or 2d6 with Minié ball, range 30 feet, -1 per 20 feet beyond, loading time 3 rounds and can fire in the third, or one round less with Minié ball.

Henry Rifle (rifled, rimfire)

.44 rimfire.  Not very hard hitting, but sooo many bullet, rapid lever action.  Handy too.  1d8 dmg, 15 cartridges - can attack multiple times per round if character is able to, range 30 feet, -1 per 20 feet, loading time 2 cartridges per round + 1 round for magazine manipulation. 

Spencer carbine. (rifled, rimfire)

.56 rimfire. A clunky lever action, slower than the Henry, but bigger bullets.  1d10 dmg, 7 cartridges - can load and attack once per round, range 30 feet, -1 per 20 feet, loading time 4 rounds for 7 cartridge.

This list is, of course, incomplete (edit, I will need to do a post about weird guns).  But I hope it will help GMs having some kind of baseline to make rulings about guns, especially in a game where there may still be bow and crossbow usage, or the possibility of multiple technological levels being present (time travel magic, ancient weapons, technological differences between countries etc).   In no way shape or form feel pressured to use all of them.  A game with just a few gun models is ok.

Older guns are best use in a fire once then close in to melee fashion, unless both sides are happy with staying far and shooting at each other.  They can provide the party with a big "push" of damage in the first round (the crossbow is good for this too).  More modern guns load faster.  The use of paper cartridges and Minié ball allowed for high damage and quick reloads (a carbine can be fired as fast as a crossbow), and revolvers and repeating long guns allowed for very fast firepower, often eclipsing what a melee weapon could do and certainly eclipsing the bow...

Guns and armor:

It's a well known fact that medieval armor didn't deal with guns... but it wasn't entirely useless either.  To avoid making guns too powerful, and to have something easy to remember, I would propose that guns "shave of" a step of defense (from plate to chain, or chain to leather, i.e. ignoring 2 AC) when trying to attack someone wearing armor.   They probably would work even without this rule, but if you want to run a campaign where guns dominate, this would do it.

So, some technical details about guns:

First we are going to talk about the "lock" - the thing that makes the gun go boom.  In historical order, you could make the following order of firearm "eras".  There was some overlap, of course.

1:  Matchlock: A very primitive form of gun, where you have a slow burning cord that ignites the powder - the match.  They fail to ignite on a fumble (see flintlock).  Furthermore, the match can go out if there is strong wind or rain, its glow and smoke can give away your position etc etc... it's a problem. Adds 1 round to loading time (if you rush too much you might ignite the powder with the match!)  Mechanically simple and thus cheaper.  They were all loaded by the muzzle (the front of the gun).  There are even more ancient models which I did not go into.

2:  Flintlock: A number of mechanisms (wheellock, snaplock, "true" flintlock) where a mechanism generates sparks.  On a fumble, the gun fails to ignite.  There is a 50% chance that it can easily be fixed (one round reloading the priming powder) and 50% chance that there is a serious problem - the gun needs to be unloaded because of wet powder and reloaded (doubles the reloading time).  Almost all were muzzle-loaded.

3:  Cap and Ball: Similar to the flintlock, but instead of a spark generator, there is a cap - a small copper device filled with a sensitive chemical - installed on a nipple that is struck with a hammer.  This mechanism is more reliable and doesn't mess up on a fumble.  Cap and Ball guns where usually muzzle loaded but a few were breech-loaded (from the back of the gun).  Also known as percussion guns.

classic percussion shotgun, double barreled.

4: Rimfire: Still used today in the .22, these were the first reliable metal cartridges.  The cartridge is loaded to the rear of the gun, and a hammer hits the rim, which is filled with primer (the sensitive chemical). They had the problem of being less reliable than the cap and ball (on a fumble, the round fails to fire and must be ejected) and low pressure (less damage).  Historical examples include the .44 Henry, the .32 rimfire and the .56 Spencer.  Rimfire guns were often used in revolvers and repeating rifles.   They weren't as powerful, but very useful.

And.... now we stop.  By the time we get to the next step, the center-fire cartridges (more reliable and sometimes more powerful), the guns have gotten "too good", and ranged fire almost completely displaces melee fighting.  We are now playing another game.

Now that we have this covered, let's talk about the "stock" - the size of the gun.  The longer the barrel, the longer the initial (no penalty) range is.  The shoulder stock also helps with aiming.

Pocket pistol:  A small thing that is easily concealed.  Short ranged, low damage.  Became possible with the flint lock - clearly you can't have a matchlock in your pocket....  size is 1/3 of a slot

Saddle pistol:   A large pistol that could be concealed.  The longer barrel and larger caliber increases the damage.  The saddle wheel-lock pistol of noble cavalry, the 6 shooter of the cowboy, the flintlock pistol tucked in the pirate's sash all fit this.  Range is not great.  Takes 1 slot.  Can be used as a club (1d4 damage) in a pinch.   Matchlock pistols did exist.

Carbine:   A small, handy rifle, favored by hunters, cavalry/dragoons, adventurers and scouts.  In earlier time this was the arquebuse or mousqueton, in later time the "Winchester gun" ie the lever gun. They do more damage and have more range than a pistol.  They can also be used as a club by bashing with the shoulder stock (1d4 dmg).

Full sized musket/rifle:  A long, cumbersome affair, had the most damage but a pain to carry (3 slots).  Could have a bayonet that allowed to do 1d6 dmg in melee.  The matchlock musket were so heavy they required something to rest the barrel against - a fence, a wall, or a fork designed specifically for that purpose. 

Now, the barrel.

Smooth bore:  If the gun is smooth-bored, they are easier to load, but they have less range.

Rifle:   Takes longer to reload when muzzled loaded, but have more range - each step beyond the initial range is longer.  Was invented in the flintlock era.

Muzzle loaded:  Cheaper but takes longer to load.

Breach loaded:  More expensive and technologically advanced, faster loading.  Developed in the cap and ball era.

Double barrel:  double the fun, double the cost. A few flintlocks, a lot of smoothbore cap and ball (shotguns). 

Length of the barrel:  Longer guns have more power and range, but are less handy/concealable and take longer to load.

But what are we shooting?

Well the Cartridge:

Loose powder.   There is no cartridge.  You have a ball, some powder, some wadding and a ramming rod.

Paper cartridge:  Everything is measured and organized in advance.  Reduces loading time.   

Cap:   Instead of putting powder in a frizen/touch hole, you could have a sensitive chemical housed in a small copper cap.  Percussion guns, also know at cap and ball, were far more reliable than the flintlocks. The precursor to the primmer.  Most were muzzle loaders, a few cap and ball were breach-locked.

Metallic cartridge:  Like a paper cartridge but even better.  Comes whit its own primer.

Lastly, the bullet.

Ball:  a big round lead ball, the default.  Used in all guns except metallic cartridges. Can be used both in smoothbore and rifled guns, although the later could be difficult to load.

Shot:  a bunch of smaller ball, rocks, nails, coins jammed in there.  Only used in smooth bore guns.  Shot does not take a range penalty, rather a *damage* penalty.  For example, a 2d6 gun loaded with shot would do 3d4.  After the first range increment, the damage would fall to 2d4, then 1d4, then the pellets have spent too much of their energy to do real harm.  Shotgun shells were not available in this era.  

Minié Ball:  A more modern form of bullet - it is easier to load and engages the rifling better, leading to higher velocities, increasing the damage by one step.  The Minié ball was available for late flintlocks, cap and ball guns, and metallic cartridges (sort of).  They weren't used in smoothbore barrels.   They, and derivatives, made firearms far deadlier, and cause war amputations to be far more common du to their tendency to shatter bones.

Magical bullets.  What are we shooting?  +2 bullets?  Homing bullets (advantage to hit)?  Fire bullets, silver bullets, poison bullets?  I don't know!  You make it up.  Have fun, it's magic!  I will note that "older" guns that don't use metallic cartridge may have more flexibility with magical bullets. 

Loading/firing time:

Paper cartridge can be used with muzzle loaded or breech loaded guns.  Reduced the loading time by 1 round.  A trained gunman with decent equipment can make about a dozen such cartridges per hour, but most preferred purchasing them.

Metallic cartridges are fast to load, and the characteristic of the gun become the defining factor in loading time.

Longer barrels take longer to load than pistol *if* the gun is muzzle loaded.

Ball takes longer to load in a muzzle-loaded rifle (but not smooth bore).  The Minié ball does not have this penalty.

Damage depends on the caliber, the length of the barrel, the type of bullet and the use of metallic cartridge - the early ones were often weakly loaded.

Saturday, September 19, 2020

The clockwork Warlock

 One of the interesting things about the 5e warlock is how varied their patrons can be.  Someone (Trappy Jenkins) on the Dungeon Dudes discord wondered "what if this guy was your patron"

by Travis Anderson

A number of good ideas were quickly proposed by many people - I had a small part in it (tiny servant!!!) but this isn't my creation.  But then people wondered "how to preserve this?" - unlike the OSR, there isn't a strong culture of blogging there.  So I offered, and here we are.

Patron abilities:

Biomechatronical Body:
You have sacrificed a piece of your body to your patron and in return they replace your chosen body part with a mechanical copy.
Arm: Gain proficiency in Athletics. +1 to melee attack and damage rolls that use strength using this arm.
Eye: Gain proficiency in perception. +1 to ranged attack and damage rolls. 
Leg: Gain proficiency in acrobatics. +10 speed, +5 jumping distance.
Heart: Gain proficiency in constitution saving throws. Increase maximum HP by 5 and an additional 1 per Warlock level. 

At levels 6, 10, and 14 you may sacrifice and replace another body part.

I note that warlocks almost always have a defensive feature at level 6.  I think the above is very cool but could be expanded a bit.  Perhaps at level 6, the following appears:

Partial exoskeleton:  You encase your torso in metal.  Your base AC is now 14  (treat as medium armor).

Or.   Smoke screen.  As a reaction, you can eject greenish smoke from your body, imposing disadvantage on attacks against you.  The smoke dissipates at the beginning of your next turn.  This power renews after a short or long rests. 

But I am opened to suggestions.  Level 14 deserves a very cool body part too, or perhaps a partial, whole body transformation.

Bonus Spell List (Influenced by artificer)
1st: Grease & Snare 
2nd: Heat metal & Rope Trick
3rd: Stinking Cloud & Tiny Servant
4th: Fabricate & Freedom of Movement
5th: Animate Object & Creation

I note that Tiny Servant is a spell that "up-casts" well and that last 8 hours.  A higher level warlock may have a small army of tiny servants doing his every whim.  A lot of these spells can be "jazzed up" for roleplaying purposes.  Eldritch blast is *definitely* some kind of arm or shoulder cannon, or perhaps an eye-laser.   In a game that allows war-forged, this is a great fit.

There is definitely a lot of potential for roleplay here.  The Iron Kingdoms monster manual had the iron lich ,which were both flavorful and powerful.  The warlock may be pursuing the knowledge to complete this transformation.  Meanwhile, the patron may be requesting of their followers to gather various esoteric items, reagents and parts - clearly they are building some grand artifact that will shake the foundations of the multiverse... the image clearly indicates a personage who is refined, polite but ... ruthless. 

I repeat that this is just a draft, and not play-tested... but clearly this would be a lot of fun, and it again illustrates the strength of the Warlock class in 5e.  Thank you to the DungeonDudes discord community for allowing me to host this neat content :)