Foreboding Fromagerie: Rooms 4 - 8

These room are north west of the Great Cheese Hall

(note: this dungeon is under construction - links to monsters and other rooms are missing.  The rest will be published over the course of several weeks)

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Map segment by Dyson Logos, with some edits

Room 4: Pasteurization Room

By Phlox

This large hexagonal room is warm and somewhat humid. Faint snoring can be heard.

Two small firepits with half-full cauldrons of milk stand in the room. Sleeping on a cot propped up on several milk crates is an old woman named Noya (1 HD). She is responsible for pasteurizing milk that is not intended for making into cheese, and knows only rumors about the rest of the Fromagerie - she finds the dungeon rather bewildering.. She is perhaps the Wizard's oldest friend.

The goblins have been firmly warned not to harm her.  So ... they talk to her.  And even though she is a simple woman who grew up on a dairy farm - her knowledge of simple things like animal husbandry is wondrous to the goblins. Any random encounters in this room has a flat 50% chance of being goblins.

Should the PCs seriously hurt or kill Noya, the goblins will unite and do their best to kill the PCs (and will not fight fair). This will also greatly anger the Wizard.

There is no treasure in this room besides Noya's simple belongings.

Leading out of this room is an unlocked metal bar door to the south (Room 3), as well as opening to the north of the room, heading east to room 5

Room 5: The Chapel

By purplechtulu

Overview: A small hexagonal room. The walls are covered with cheap plaster facades

painted grey and styled to resemble gothic arches and buttresses. An old, ratty Persian

carpet sits in the center of the room. Near the southeast wall is a cracked plaster altar

with a green cloth on top. Near the northeast wall is a statue of a bishop made out of

cheese, with most of its head missing. The whole room is filled with a nauseating smell

resembling cigar smoke and rotting fruit.

Altar: A plaster altar with large cracks on the side. Lying on top is a green cloth with the

phrase “Make the holy man’s chest shatter/to unlock the key to the platter”. The altar is

hollow; hidden inside is the Cados Censer, an enchanted incense censer. If cheese is placed

inside the censer, then the censer starts to produce a nauseatingly strong stinky cheese smell,

while the cheese slowly crumbles into ash.

Bishop Statue: The source of the horrible smell, this statue is carved out of Stinking Bishop

cheese. Soft Cheese goblins occasionally take small chunks from it to annoy the Hard Cheese

goblins with, throwing it at their territory. The Green Keese is inside the statue’s chest. While

not difficult to get out, the real challenge lies in the smell. Besides being intense and unpleasant,

the smell lingers on whoever touches the cheese, making stealth near-impossible and attracting

wandering creatures unless washed off.

The room can be exited via stairs leading up to the north (leading to a corridor and eventually to room 9), to the southwest to room 4 or to the north west to room 6.

Room 6: The Vault

By SirOnyx

This hexagonal room is roughly 50' across and is secured by heavy iron doors. These iron doors are locked by a lock with an unusual opening - a white bordered slit - that sit on the outside frame of the door, they will open when the matching Keese (white) is placed within it. They cannot be opened from the inside.

    This room contains a wide variety of rare and strange cheese that The Wizard wanted to hold onto. The walls are lined with stone pedestals holding crystal cloches, locked down with more colored slits, with the wondrous cheeses below them. Each cloche is extremely tough, and labeled with a small note, scribbled in faint handwriting, that lists the name of the cheese (bold text in the description)

The Western Wall

- The first cloche is locked by purple slits and contains 1d8 bites of Fire Cheddar. Taking a bite out of this block of cheddar causes 1d4 fire damage, but allows the eater to breathe a 15' cone of fire once within the next 8 hours. The cone of fire deals 4d8 damage.

- The second cloche is locked by blue slits and contains a Platter of Many Cheeses. The platter contains 1d12 bite-sized cubes of various magical cheeses, Roll 1d6+1d8 below for each bite.

1. The Universe implodes in Deliciousness. All is Cheese. 2. Tastes like Plastic. Turn into a lifeless statue of inedible yellow cheese that no one likes. 3. Holey. Gain tons of strange holes all over your body. any mundane attack that hits you has a 1 in 6 chance of passing through you, causing no harm. 4. Smelly and Delicious. You now strongly smell of delicious cheese, all creatures within 30' automatically detect you and you have a higher likelihood of drawing creatures in random encounter rolls. 5. Soft and Spreadable. Your body becomes smooth and squishy, gain the ability to squeeze through spaces as small as 1". Shrink down to the space of a 2'x2' box if fully liquid. 6. Nutty. Gain an Insanity 7. Spicy. You gain the ability to cough a small bolt of fire once per day, dealing 3d4 damage on hit. Your nose constantly smokes. 8. Sour. Your lips begin to pucker up so quickly and painfully that it threatens to destroy your very existence. Make a con save or pucker yourself into another dimension. 9. Sweet. Gain a level. 10. Smokey. Every time you perform any particularly exhausting activity, roll a con save or spend the next 1d4 minutes coughing up smoke. 11. Maggoty. A small swarm of flies will burst out of your skin in 1d4 days. You can control them as Mage Hand.  12. Winey. You are now permanently intoxicated. 13. Rich. 1d20 days after eating this cheese, you will defecate a diamond worth 500 GP. 14. Complex. Roll Twice, and take both effects. Ignore this roll if it comes up again.

- The third and final cloche along the left wall is locked by green slits and contains a small sack of 1d20 Treasure Cheese, they appear as coins made of various cheese. After eating one, it turns into 1d100 gold coins in your gut. Roll a con save to puke them up. If it generates more than 50 coins, take 1 damage for every two coins.

The Eastern Wall

- The first cloche is locked by yellow slits and contains 1d4 Maxirella Balls. Appearing as small balls of white soft cheese. If a liquid such as a potion or poison is poured onto one of these balls, it will maximize the effects when the cheese ball is eaten. If a ball is eaten raw, it will extend any temporary magical effect that is currently affecting the eater by a day.

- The second cloche contains 1d8 small white rats and is locked by orange slits. The wizard keeps them here because he finds them amusing. They keep themselves fed with a small piece of cheese in the back of their cloche. This cheese magically regenerates every night at midnight, assuming it is not entirely eaten. The rats are trained not to finish it off.

- The third and final cloche is locked by red slits contains 1d4 B-Side Brie Balls. Appearing as small balls of black soft cheese. If a liquid such as a potion or poison is poured onto one of these balls, it will invert or otherwise corrupt the original effect when the ball is eaten. If a ball is eaten raw, it will irreversibly corrupt some aspect of the eater.

The Northern Wall

- The Back Wall contains only one cloche containing a single cheese: The Mother Cheese. The Mother Cheese squirms and pulses underneath its cloche, locked by black slits. This Keese Card is held by the wizard and if unlocked, the Mother Cheese will pounce on the nearest adventurer. 

If an adventurer touches The Mother Cheese, they will irreversibly turn into cheese and absorb The Mother Cheese, it will not naturally be seen for centuries longer. This effect repeats on anyone who attempts to eat the poor Cheese-Touched adventurer. Their skin will bubble into a patchwork of every cheese they have ever eaten and the transformation will be complete. If the adventurer rolls a successful magic save, they will retain their mobility, sentience, and all other aspects of living (minus being made out of cheese) and gain a level of The Cheesen One class, detailed below.

The Cheesen One

Deepen: Gain 10 XP for every unique cheese eaten. Cure: Incurable. Eat yourself to death. A: Cheese-Touched, Cheese-Munity B: Cheese-Mutation C: Cheese-Bringer

Cheese-Touched: You have been turned into the Cheese-Champion of the Cheese-Goddess. Everything (non-cheese) you touch is cursed to turn into a random type of cheese you have eaten. If an object is sufficiently large enough not to be completely turned, then it extends out to 1'. You can no longer eat anything but cheese, wear functional armor (that isn't made out of cheese), use any items or weapons (that are not cheese), or ever touch anything that is not immediately cheesed. If you touch someone, they take 1d4+Level damage as part of them turns to cheese.

Cheese-Munity: You are immune to Cheese-Harm, whether magic, poisonous, or mundane. Cheese-Boons still apply.

Cheese-Mutation: You now have control over what kind of cheeses you turn things into, it is still limited to cheeses you have previously eaten. This means, among other things, that you can use items, armor, and weapons, assuming you have eaten a cheese that can mimic their intended properties (hardness, flexibility, etc.)

Cheese-Bringer: You can spread your Cheese-Mutation effect at a rate of 1' per second, you no longer need to touch something to transmute it, your damage when touching someone becomes a save or die effect. No one can stop you now.

(note from editor:  of course a glooger would find a way to sneak in a new GLOG-class...)

There are no other exit to this room, except an ancient vent, about 2 by 2 feet, covered by a very rusty grate, located on the south-west wall. This vent connects to a series of crawl spaces (see Room 3). A corridor south of the vault runs east to west.

Room 7: The Golem Workshop

By SirOnyx

    This room is blocked off from the rest of the dungeon by a pair of heavy iron doors (for all entrances), fading red paint sits above the doors themselves, displaying "Golem Workshop". These doors are not locked however, they do require the strength of three people to open by hand. There is an indent in one of these doors (once for each pair) that allows for the insertion of a golem power core, if this is done then the door opens itself until the core is removed.

    Inside this room, there are many strange machines. The western wall displays three punching stations prominently, the eastern wall contains a large molding machine with various molds scattered on the ground. The northeastern corner contains a very large pile of moon cheese and many buckets of paint. A large safe rests in the southwestern corner.

The Western Wall

    Starting from the southern edge and working up, there are two small boxes, one of metal and one of paper. There are then three punching machines, each labeled respectively; Function, Target, and Location

• The Metal Box opens to a large cheese slicer, impossibly sharp. Sharp enough to slice a block of moon cheese into the proper thickness for a Keese Card
• The Paper Box contains 1d6 presliced, unpainted, and unpunched.
• The first punch station labeled "Function" has three possible punches to select from, each one labeled with a pictogram.
• One punch is labeled with a Sword will cause the golem to aggressively attack whoever the "Target" is
• One punch is labeled with a Shield will cause the golem to passively protect whoever the "Target" is
• The Final Punch for this machine is labeled with a wrench, this punch is used to tell the golem to use utility functions. The wizard normally uses magic to code in the specific utility function, and thus the actual command given will be whatever he used last (roll on the table at the bottom of the room)
• The second punch station, simply labeled "Target" has a single punch with a large funnel on the top of the machine. If someone drops in matter, it will code in their sequence as the target. The punch station is only limited to genetically sequencing human DNA, so any other genetic material dropped in is only tracked by species rather than the person, it can sequence all nonliving matter. If this punch is not used, then the card treats the target as "All"
• The third and final punch station labeled "Location" has a single punch with a keypad attached to the machine, entering a number or series of numbers will restrict the golem to those rooms, if this machine is not used on a keese card, then the golem defaults to following its "Creator". Note that characters wouldn't know the room numbers in character unless they stole the map from the wizard first. 

The Eastern Wall

    The entirety of this wall is taken up by a large machine composed of a cheese melter and a cheese molder. The Cheese Melter appears to be a gigantic furnace, hooked up to a funnel, directly above the molding station. Turning it on simply requires a flip of the large lever on the wall to the left of the machine.

    The Cheese Molder is used to create the golems out of the remaining Moon Cheese supply that the wizard brought back with him. there are a variety of large molds strewn about the room, each one can be put into the machine with ten minutes' effort. It requires a legs, arms, torso, and a head mold, if a golem is made with less or more than this hooked up then the golem will fail to turn on when the appropriate core and keese card is placed inside its head. A list of the possible molds laying around is found below, DM picks one of each limb, and rolls 1d12 four times for the remainder of what's scattered on the ground

    The molded body for a golem will feature a slot in its chest for the keese card and an indent in its neck for the power core. Powering it will close the card slot, if it is on without a card then it simply stands still with no order.

The Northeastern Corner

    This corner contains a pile of Moon Cheese Boulders, enough for 1d4 Full Golems. Underneath the large stack of moon cheese is 1d6 Golem Power Cores, only 1d2 of which are properly charged.

    Also over here are buckets of paint, including; white, black, red, blue, yellow, orange, green, purple, and brown. these were used for the various keesecards and golems around the dungeon.

The Southwestern Corner

    This corner contains a large locked safe. Using sheer strength alone it would take around 1d6 days to pummel this open without any special equipment. Magically it would take a 4 [dice] knock spell or a fireball spell to open it. Contained within is a single, highly magical, keese card and 1d6 Golem Power Cores, all of which are properly charged.

    This particular keese card is not meant for a door, but a golem mind. It contains a corrupted soul that the wizard caught for an experiment in making golems more intelligent and sentient. This soul has long since forgotten his old life, his very essence is focused on destroying the wizard now. He does not remember his old name, and both he and the wizard call him the "ArchnemeSwiss". He is of average human intelligence but does not care about anything except his revenge. He may ally with the players or attack the players depending on their relationship with the wizard. He can communicate telepathically, even when just in his card form, and will attempt to get the characters to put him into a golem body so that he may do even more.

A Note on Keese Cards and Power Cores

    All Power Cores that are properly charged can not only keep golems running for a long time, but they can be depleted in one burst of magical energy in order to provide an additional {Dice} to a spell. For every Power Core used, add an additional "Instability" die to the spell as well, this die functions for the purposes of Dooms and Mishaps, but not the power of the spell. This is in order to represent the inherent instability of the magic inside these cores.

    All Keese Cards, including the ones that unlock doors, function as golem control cards. This means that the door keese cards can theoretically be counterfeited if the players gain access to this room and the knowledge of what settings created what cards. See below for the true settings for the Door Cards. (Assuming the players attempt to counterfeit them or use the originals in a golem.)

    Repunching a keese card irreversibly corrupts it.

• White - Sword, All, Creator
• Black - Utility (Haul), Wizard, Room #6
• Red - Utility (Any), All, Room #3
• Blue - Shield, Goblin, Room #18
• Yellow - Utility (Any), All, Room #10
• Orange - Sword, Rat. Creator
• Purple - Sword, Dragon, Creator
• Green - Shield, Gold, Creator

What was the Wizard's last Utility Program? (1d6)

1. Haul, the golem will pick up the target and move them randomly about the dungeon.
2. Clean, the golem will relentlessly clean the target
3. Companionship, the golem will immediately return to the dining room (room #10) and begin pretending to eat (read as shoving cheese into its face and making a mess)
4. Corrupted Program: golem gains mock sentience as a wild beast, cannot speak, will immediately try to escape the dungeon.
5. Dig, the golem will dig out new dungeon space wherever the target commands it to
6. Worker Bot, the golem will be of a random job position listed in room #2 and #17

What Golem Molds are laying around? (1d12)

1. Caterpillar Tracks (Legs), golem moves at half speed but can ignore difficult terrain
2. Fins (Legs), the golem cannot move on land but can move at full speed in liquids
3. Spider (Legs), the golem can walk on walls and other vertical surfaces at half speed, twice as creepy looking.
4. Normal (Legs)
5. Drill (Arms), the golem can no longer pick stuff up but has a drill attack that does 1d10 damage
6. Cannon (Arms), the golem can no longer pick stuff up but can fire a cheese wheel cannon (determine randomly from room #18), must be reloaded manually as the golem cannot do so.
7. CheeseWeb (Arms) can fire a cheese web of melted moon cheese to restrain foes or grab items from afar, causes everything it touches to get super sticky and gross.
8. Shield (Arms), the golem can use its action to protect nearby creatures, redirecting any attack at them to itself.
9. Normal (Arms)
10. Hollow (Chest), has a hollow space to be filled up with various things such as loot or explosive cheese wheels, has -1 HD.
11. Normal (Chest)
12. Normal (Head)

Leaving this rooms are door to the north and south.

Room number: 8 The Boringkaas

By mtb-za

Details: A large drilling machine is against the south-western wall, built to expand the dungeon. Old and rusted, needs combustible material and some oiling, but then could be started and used to drill a 5ft gap through walls. Loud and belches fumes. Takes at least three PCs to move, or a pair of subverted cheesemaker golems. Stairs will be difficult terrain for the wheeled machine.  The movement of the machine is not automated (the wheels are not powered), only the drilling is.

Not very noisy when rolled around, but super noisy when used. (random encounter triggered). If used recklessly, will anger the Wizard.

Leading out of the room is a corridor heading north to Room 7, and corridor heading east to Room 3

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